On The Shelf In March 2009

DARK HORSE COMICS
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Page 40 - The Amazon #1, $3.50, 32 Pages
Written by Steven T. Seagle, Art by Tim Sale and Matt Hollingsworth
Reprints of old titles don’t often sell great, and aren’t usually something to recommend. Something like this, however, is a different matter entirely. The Amazon was originally published in 1989 by the now defunct Comico company, and was created by Steven T. Seagle (American Virgin, It’s a Bird) and Tim Sale. This is being called a “remastered” edition, with new scans from the original art, and new coloring from Matt Hollingsworth - considering the general quality of books in the late 80s (especially indie books), this was a smart move on the part of Dark Horse. If you are a particular fan of either of these creators, and haven’t read The Amazon, this is a great chance to see some of their early efforts.
Page 56 - The Goon #32, $3.99, 48 Pages
By Eric Powell, Colors by Dave Stewart
It might seem strange that it would take ten years to release a mere 32 issues, but this series has seen two major hiatuses. The first occurred early on, and lasted until Powell took the title to Dark Horse in 2003 (unhappy with Avatar), and the second occurred after issue #18, and lasted until July of 2007. It has been fairly regular since then.
Despite the decidedly unprolific nature of this book, it is one of Dark Horse’s best books, and one of those that you just have to try at least once. A tenth anniversary issue seems to be a very good place to start. As with most anniversary books, this one is chock full of extras - featuring some sketches from some guest artists (including Mike Mignola), in addition to the full-size story. Goon fans are going to pick this up either way, but it is a title of note, and those of you who haven’t sampled this one yet should consider giving it a shot this month. It didn’t win an Eisner for no reason, after all…
DC COMICS
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Page 25 - Blackest Night #0, FREE, 32 Pages (Free Comic Book Day, May ‘09)
Written by Geoff Johns, Art by Ivan Reis and Ethan Van Sciver
I don’t often mention the Free Comic Book Day solicitations here, but this one is definitely worth mentioning. It is still five months out, but it is a brilliant move on the part of DC to release something like this on Free Comic Book Day. Marvel has been ahead of the curve the last couple days in their FCBD outings, making DC’s route reprints look a little more than silly. Finally DC has decided to take advantage of the outstanding marketing opportunity Free Comic Book Day presents, and will be putting out this issue to promote the upcoming Blackest Night event. Of course, there won’t be any real new material here - Marvel still has the edge on them there, but it will be an outstanding recap of the Sinestro Corps War and beyond, complete with some informative tidbits about each of the power colors and their role in the upcoming conflict. A “Saga”-style issue is far better than a reprint, and DC should be applauded for taking this step in the right direction.
Page 75 - Batman: The Battle For the Cowl #1, $3.99, 40 Pages
Written by Tony Daniel, Art by Tony Daniel and Sandu Florea
The near-future of Batman begins here, as the much touted “Battle for the Cowl” gets started in March. Perhaps this is looking too much into a simple cover, but it looks like DC is telegraphing that it will indeed be Dick Grayson, if anyone, who takes over for Batman. The list of possible “candidates” seems to grow and grow, but unless they want a fan revolt, it seems pretty clear that fans will only accept a former Robin as Batman, and that leaves 3. On this cover, Jason Todd is nowhere to be seen, Tim Drake is hiding in a corner looking like a tiny little kid, and Dick Grayson is standing tall, proud, and defiant - front and center. Sure, it could be a bait and switch, but way to kill the mystery early on, eh?
Not that Dick isn’t a good choice mind you. Most people don’t believe that Bruce Wayne is gone for good - especially with Warner’s interest in Batman’s marketability. Still, many have wondered what it would be like for one of Bruce’s heir-apparent to take up the mantle, and if anything this event is enormous fan service. And in a sense it is a great move. Assuming Bruce Wayne will eventually be back, it is a chance for readers to have their cake and eat it too. Should be fun.
Page 77 - Gotham Gazette: Batman Dead? #1, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by Fabian Nicieza, Art by Various
As you might imagine, DC is going to throw a ton of this “Battle for the Cowl” stuff at us over the next couple months. Outside the completists who will pick up everything, most readers will have to pick and choose what is really worth it, and what is fluff. This one seems to be a good candidate for “something good.” Nicieza is an outstanding writer, and I doubt he would phone this one in. This issue is going to take a look at Gotham and some key people in Bruce Wayne’s life in the wake of his disappearance, and how they have been affected by his loss. It seems that there are “Various” artists assigned to this issue, which makes me think that we are going to get a series of shorts. That’s a good way to handle this subject matter. This should be a decent issue.
Page 79 - Oracle #1, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by Kevin VanHook, Art by Don Kramer and Jay Leisten
There was talk of an Oracle series when Birds of Prey was first cancelled - it would seem that this is it. Instead of an ongoing, this one is a three issue mini - it is unlikely that we will see a new ongoing to replace any of the Bat-titles until the Battle for the Cowl wraps up. Hints of the plot of this mini were seen recently in Teen Titans, as Wendy’s father is revealed to be The Calculator, a recent antagonist of Barbara’s. This series will find him on the hunt for the remnants of the Anti-Life Equation, which he believes will help save his daughter’s life. It isn’t Gail Simone or Tony Bedard, but this should at the very least provide a fix until a new ongoing gets going.
Page 83 - Action Comics #875, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by Greg Rucka, Art by Eddy Barrows and Ruy José
Hrm - both Batman and Superman missing. Add Wonder Woman to that mix, and you have a 52-type situation. Final Crisis hasn’t been anywhere near as good as Infinite Crisis is, but the aftermath has the potential to be far better than 52 ended up being. With Superman gone, Action Comics and Superman have shifted focus to a few allies - Superman featuring Mon-El and the Guardian, and this title, the new Nightwing and Flamebird. Of the two, this one likely has the most potential. The Guardian is a great character, but these two have attracted considerable interest from fans. New Krypton has been one heck of a story- it isn’t a stretch to suggest that this has been the best the Superman family titles have been in a long time. At least in terms of long-term consistency.
Page 84 - Superman: World of New Krypton #1, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by Andrew Kreisberg, Art by Pete Woods
Unlike Batman, Superman will still be around, after a fashion. This 12 part series finds Superman in New Krypton. No idea if Superman will be missing from his regular titles for an entire year or not, but this will be one more series for Superman fans to pick up this year. Not sure how Kreisberg will handle a full blown Superman story - Robinson and Rucka’s credentials on the character are unquestioned at this point, but Kreisburg really only has a few television credits, Batman Confidential and Green Arrow/Black Canary to his name. This is certainly a huge step-up from that. Time will tell on this series.
Page 93 - Solomon Grundy #1, $2.99, 32 Pages
By Scott Kolins
Of course, he has worked with some outstanding writers of late, but Scott Kolins is generally more well known for his art than his story skills. Both will be on display in this seven issue series about the Monday-born Solomon Grundy. Each of the seven issues are supposed to represent a day of the week, and will loosely follow the old nursery rhyme. I suppose that means this issue will feature his “birth.” The character hasn’t really hotten this kind of treatment in a very long time - most of his appearances have just been that of the typical brutish antagonist and nothing more than a generic villain. It will be nice to finally see some of his real back story come into play.
Page 94 - Strange Adventures #1, $3.99, 40 Pages
Written by Jim Starlin, Art by Manuel Garcia and Al Milgrom
Any time Jim Starlin pens a far-flung cosmic superhero adventure, it is work checking out. There are few writers that handle that kind of story as well as he does. This series will be an 8 issue mini, and will feature Adam Strange (of course), Comet, Bizarro, and several other interesting characters. Recent similar minis have been hit or miss, but Starlin deserves a chance here. Handled properly, this could be a fun diversion from the upcoming summer events.
IMAGE COMICS
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Page 154 - Invincible #60, $3.99, 40 Pages
Written by Robert Kirkman, Art by Ryan Ottley and FCO Plascencia
OK, this one is a giant issue - a 60th issue crossover spectacular, I suppose, featuring a bunch of Image mainstays inclusing PITT, Dragon, Shadowhawk, Witchblade, and even Ultra (it will be nice to see her once again - the Lunas really need to do a sequel). Should be a lot of fun - still a solid book, and a mega fight like this should be exciting.
The first issue of 2009 is set to come out in just under a week - The Walking Dead #57. Let the vigil begin in earnest!
Solicited Robert Kirkman Issues for 2009
The Walking Dead #57, January 7th
Invincible #58, January 14th
The Astounding Wolf-Man #12, January 21st
Brit #12, January 28th
The Walking Dead #58, February 11th
Invincible #59, February 18th
The Astounding Wolf-Man #13, February 25th
The Walking Dead #59, March 11th
Invincible #60, March 18th
The Astounding Wolf-Man #14, March 25th
Page 180 - Black Vault #1, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by B. Clay Moore, Art by Nelson Blake II
Space has become so boring these days - at least in terms of pop culture. The romance has left, and so has the horror. Just one big reason a title like this makes me smile - a space story that doesn’t have to do with an alien invasion of Earth necessarily - just a story of helpless astronauts in the void of space, with so little to work with, having to deal with a threat - any threat. It’s a kind of sci-fi you don’t see too much of anymore. If course, given the somewhat realistic description, it might not really be actual sci-fi (being in space alone doesn’t make something sci-fi, just space fiction), but that is really beside the point. It looks like an interesting series, and a full color, full-size book from Image at $2.99 is an even bigger reason to check it out.
MARVEL COMICS
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Page M26 - Dark Reign: Fantastic Four #1, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by Jonathan Hickman, Art by Sean Chen
One of many “Dark Reign” minis, this one a five parter that finds the Baxter Building under assault by Norman Osborne’s HAMMER Agents. Yeah - I kind of fear that card being played a little too often. Naturally the point is to see how bad things could be if a villain gained control like this, but for the sake of believability, you would think they would have to have him show at least a little restraint. Of course, there is probably more to this story than the solicit would make it seem. Outside Osborne, it appears that this series will have a lot of Fantastic Four mainstays - could turn out to be a solid run-of-the-mill first family story.
Page M27 - New Avengers: The Reunion #1, $3.99, 32 Pages
Written by Jim McCann, Art by David Lopez
It wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if we didn’t start seeing many of these type of titles in the near future - this four issue mini focuses on the return of Mockingbird, one of the many who were captured and replaced by Skrulls over the course of the last couple events. Hawkeye (well, Ronin) is supposed to serve a fairly major role in this mini as well, so that should be some added appeal for those of you who are fans of that character. The Marvel universe is a little messy after Secret Invasion, but that does sometimes lend itself to some good stories. This could be one of them.
Page M28 - Deadpool #8, $2.99, 32 Pages
Written by Daniel Way, Art by Paco Medina
This issue starts a four issue crossover with Thunderbolts, in which Wade decides he is going to take out Norman Osborne all on his own. You know, this could be interesting. There was a time that many thought Deadpool would be a good addition to the Thunderbolts team (back when he was without his own ongoing), and this crossover should provide some interesting interaction. While Way is doing a passable job on this title, this very crossover introduces a very interesting possibility - an Andy Diggle penned Deadpool. He is writing the Thunderbolts portions of this event - I wonder how he will handle Wade? Definitely an intriguing idea…
Page M38 - Avengers: The Initiative Featuring Reptil #1, $3.99, 48 Pages
Written by Christos N. Gage, Art by Steve Uy
Well then, this is a little odd, but Gage deserves the benefit of the doubt here. This title is outstanding, and there is little reason to believe that it won’t continue to be that way. Seems like this might be a one-shot, but we will see. Anything that gets Prodigy a little more face time has to be good, doesn’t it? No idea who this Reptil is supposed to be - or if he will even be around after this issue, but with this title you can never really tell. This title is too good to die, so hopefully they aren’t trying anything too wacky here…
Page M39 - Amazing Spider-Girl #30, $3.99, 40 Pages
Written by Tom DeFalco, Art by Ron Frenz
Final issue! No, really this time! It actually looks like it is going to end this time. Rumor has it that Spider-Girl will instead become a regular feature in the new Amazing Spider-Man Family title - really not a terrible marketing move, Spider-Girl has a built in very loyal fanbase that will help that title succeed - so she really isn’t going anywhere. Sure, it is sad to see her own ongoing finally come to an end, but it has gotten to the point where it would be tough to get rid of MC2 all together - anytime a character lasts ten years in publication, it is safe to assume that she won’t be slipping into obscurity anytime soon. Of course, the cancellation of the longest running Marvel book (if you count Spider-Girl and Amazing Spider-Girl as one title, as they should be) featuring a female lead makes this issue a little more important, but that isn’t something that gets talked about too often.
Spider-Girl has definitely had her ups and downs over the years, but one thing is indisputable - DeFalco and Frenz really managed to capture an old-school Spider-Man feel with this book that was missing for a very long time, and made this book at several points during its run the best “Spider-Man”-type title on the shelves. Ultimate Spider-Man really got Peter Parker back to his roots, but in a more modern way - somehow DeFalco did a better job of capturing the old-feel that Spider-Man used to have, and I really appreciated that. Even at its worst this title was fun and something I looked forward to reading, and that is something very few titles can say - especially over this long period of time. Spider-Girl was just launching soon after I got back into comics again, and seeing it finally die is sad on a lot of levels. Hopefully she has a nice long run in Amazing Spider-Man Family, because Marvel just wouldn’t be the same without Mayday Parker in print somewhere.
Page M52 - Marvel Apes: Speedball Special, $3.99, 48 Pages
Written by Karl Kesel, Art by Ramon Bachs
Well, Marvel did promise that Speedball would be returning to the Marvel Universe, but in simian form - looks like that promise has been kept. This one-shot follows up on the Marvel Apes series, and explores what happens with this alternate Speedball now that he has crossed over to the regular Marvel Universe. It really is nearly impossible to find a reason to be excited about this - sure, having some kind of Speedball is nice, but Marvel Apes really didn’t have much lasting appeal, and bringing a beloved character back as a monkey isn’t going to make Speedball fans all that happy, especially with Penance still running around. It will be tough to really sell this story - hopefully Kesel is up to the task.
Page M58 - War of Kings #1, $3.99, 32 Pages
Written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, Art by Paul Pelletier
The latest cosmic Marvel event begins in earnest this month, with the first of 6 issues. War of Kings might end up being an example of going to the well too many times - on the surface it doesn’t have the same appeal as either Annihilation event, but DnA hasn’t had a dud yet, so this series more than deserves a chance. The different character mix should liven things up a big, and the inclusion of Darkhawk and the Shi’ar will attract a few more fans. Marvel’s cosmic universe has remained consistently excellent since Abnett & Lanning turned things around - it seems a safe bet that this will be a good read as well.
Page M66 - Deadpool: Games of Death. $3.99, 48 Pages
Written by Mike Benson, Art by Sean Crystal
Wow - an actual Deadpool one-shot? In addition to the ongoing? They are releasing a bunch of Deadpool stuff this month, including a hardcover and several scattershot appearances. Of course, the reason for this almost certainly has to do with Deadpool’s role in the upcoming Wolverine movie. This has got to be an exciting time for Deadpool fans (and myself as well, being the biggest Deadpool fanboy I know) - it wasn’t that long ago that the idea of a Deadpool movie was little more than a dream, and a major role in a Wolverine film is close enough for most. Fantastic to see Wade getting this kind of exposure - these are good times indeed for Wade Wilson fans. Hopefully it keeps coming throughout the summer.
INDEPENDENT COMICS
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Page 239 - Incredibles #1, $2.99, 24 Pages, BOOM! Studios
Written by Mark Waid, Art by Marcio Takara
OK - this kind of thing would normally scare me. But Mark Waid writing it - and it is completely new story - and only $2.99 to boot? Sure, it is only 24 pages, but of anything to nitpick about, that is relatively minor. If ever there was a Disney property that demanded a comic book, it is The Incredibles. It is only a shame that it took this long to get there. Heck, this even has an “incentive cover” by Mike Mignola. Generally multiple covers are a bad thing, but that just seems cool. Seems like all the elements are in place for a really fun comic. Pray that Boom! Pulls this one off!
Page 241 - Farscape: Strange Detractors #1, $3.99, 24 Pages, BOOM! Studios
Written by Rockne S. O’Bannon, and Keith R.A. DeCandido, Art by Will Sliney
Boy - Boom! is really on the ball with this Farscape series. The first issue just came out, and in March’s solicits the hardcover for the first 4 issue mini is listed, as well as this issue, the first of the second mini. On the whole, I have to say that the first issue of the current series was very good. The characters sounded as they should in my head, the dynamic was spot on - and the art wasn’t terrible. Not a bad start at all. The only downer is the price point - $4 for only 24 pages. However, with a smaller publisher, sometimes that is a necessary evil. Better a good 24 pages for a little more than a horrible 32 for a little less. It’s worth the cost, especially if you are a Farscape fan.
Craig’s Top Five of the Month
#5 - Deadpool #8, $2.99, 32 Pages, Marvel - Lot’s of interesting possibilities in this crossover - a great time for Deadpool fans.
#4 - Incredibles #1, $2.99, 24 Pages, BOOM! Studios - This comic should have come out years ago.
#3 - Batman: The Battle For the Cowl #1, $3.99, 40 Pages, DC Comics - DC’s been building this one for a long while. Curious to see how it turns out.
#2 - War of Kings #1, $3.99, 32 Pages, Marvel - Another cosmic event from Abnett and Lanning - should be excellent.
#1 - Amazing Spider-Girl #30, $3.99, 40 Pages, Marvel - Might seem strange to put this at 31, but the honest-to-goodness end of Spider-Girl is very much worth commemorating.
The opinions in this article are the writer’s alone, and no not necessarily reflect the views of X-World Comics or comiXtreme.com.
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January 5, 2009
The $40 Pull List - January 2009
THE ARCHIVES
2007 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12
2008 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12
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Welcome to another installment of comiXtreme’s The $40 Pull List! Or should it be the New $40 Pull List? It was suggested last month, and it isn’t entirely inaccurate.
In the past I have started every column with an invitation to check out the very first installment of this column, which debuted back in January of 2007, there I set forth the rules that this column follows, and the list began in earnest. This being the second anniversary column, I figured this would be an ideal time to revisit those rules, and explain once again how this column works. In light of a pretty major change I will be making this month, it seems like a good time to do that.
For those that don’t know, the $40 Pull List is something of an experiment. What comics would you buy if you only had $40 to spend each and every month? Many avid comic readers would find this restriction nearly impossible - it is so easy for a comic fan to find their list in a constant state of growth. It is so easy to add books, and so hard to remove them. And in this era of late books and constant crossovers and major events, that makes the prospect all the more daunting. You only have $40 to spend, so you can’t just buy every crossover issue every month of a major event - and you want to spend every dime you can, so late books are nothing short of frustrating.
Well, in many respects, this experiment has been a success. After a long period of chaotic list changes, things finally settled down into an almost mundane routine. Most books are almost automatically SAFE, and it has become incredibly easy to declare a title DROPPED before becoming too invested in it. Unfortunately this success has made the column a little stagnant. After all, how many times can I say the same thing about Jonah Hex (which, as it happens, remains the only title that has been on the List since the very first installment), or say how awesome Nova is? Something must be done to liven things up here, add a different perspective, introduce a little… contention to this concept.
With that in mind, I’d like to introduce my new co-columnist. You know him well, especially if you have been following his outstanding comic strip Lost Toast, or read any of his work here at comiXtreme over the years, the esteemed Brandon Schatz. Welcome Brandon!
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Esteemed? I will not have you besmirching my character with you terms of flattery.
Oh, uh… is this keyboard on? Oh hey! It’s great to be here. I’ve been reading the $40 Pull List since Craig started the beast two years ago, and have often called him names for being very wrong about his opinions. Now, if I can just come up with some better arguments than “nu-uh”, this’ll go great.
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Now by way of explanation - to indicate who is saying what, there are two icons. The Still on the Shelf logo, which will appear in front of my words, and the Buttered Toast icon, which will precede Brandon’s comments. Easy enough, yes?
With that out of the way, let’s do a quick rules recap - updated to account for Brandon’s involvement in the project.
#1 - Craig Reade shall actually purchase the issues on the Pull-List each and every month. Of course, Brandon managing a comic shop means he will have easy access to most titles, but to keep some integrity to the list, I will continue to purchase each and every issue. If I am not willing to spend my own money on these titles, how can I expect anyone else to? This rule is to preclude any offers of free issues or other bribes to include a title on the list.
#2 - The monthly budget shall be $40.00 (USD). Of course, the “USD” figure becomes important here, as Brandon is Canadian, but I am sure we can work with that. Since so many of our readers are from there, perhaps we will work out some kind of conversion in future months.
#3 - A tax rate of 7.75% will be added to every cover price. Most people have to pay sales tax when they purchase comics. That rate varies from state to state, but for the purposes of this column, we will use the rate I have to pay when I purchase a comic from my LCS.
#4 - Bags and boards for each comic will be included at no extra cost. OK, so this comic shop owner is super nice. In all seriousness, though we all probably buy them if we have to, they aren’t a required to actually read a comic. So we aren’t going to include them.
#5 - Unspent monies may be saved for a later purchase. This is where it may get complicated. If only $38.45 is spent in a given month, that gives us $1.55 that is left over. That amount will be added to a “bank” that can be used to cover overages in later months. Every now and again a comic will cost an extra dollar due (double-sized, or something), or ship twice in a month. This rule will add some flexibility to the list so that a title doesn’t have to be cut each and every time this happens.
#6 - At least one new comic must be sampled every month. If this list remains the same each month, how is that interesting to the reader? If the comic sampled is good, something else has to be cut to make room for it. This rule has kept the list from becoming too stale, and has lead to more than a couple interesting discoveries. The addition of Brandon’s input to the list should make this aspect of the column a good deal more interesting.
#7 - Monies from unreleased books will go into the reserve balance. Makes sense really - if a book doesn’t come out, you can hardly buy it, can you? However, while our budget may be limited, we will want to actually be spending it on comics. As such -
#8 - If a comic is not released within two months of the solicited date, it will automatically be dropped from the pull-list. Maybe a harsh rule, but a necessary one. A comic doesn’t have to be monthly, but it does need to be released when promised. If a comic is going to be more than 2 months late, there isn’t really any point in budgeting for it any longer, is there?
Those are the rules - Brandon’s on board - on to December’s issues!
DECEMBER’S ISSUES
Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #1, $2.99, Dark Horse. Due Out 12/03/08 ON TIME
In all, not a bad start. This makes reference to some things that happened in past Hellboy minis, most specifically Darkness Calls from last year. This issue was a slow-starter, but I think it did a decent job getting a lot of exposition out of the way, and set up a nice cliffhanger to get us pumped for issue #2.
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Now that I have this high paying and incredibly sexy gig, I should probably let you know that I’ve read very little Hellboy before jumping into this issue. As in… I’ve only read the first trade. So… I was a little behind when the references were whipped out near the beginning, but there ’s just something about a giant red guy punching crap with a big red hand of doom that all that go away. I’m ready for more.
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Jonah Hex #38, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/03/08 ON TIME
A passable issue. None of the rape that you really have come to love about this book, B, but it wasn’t exactly the usual formula. Though there were some bits from a previous story, and the usual twist-ending where Hex’s victory suddenly becomes all the more complete, I did think that they handled the flashbacks a little better than they usually do. Art could have been a bit better though.
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I’ll see your lack of rape in this issue, and raise you an “almost rape.” I’m sure if you gathered all of the issues of Jonah Hex that contain some kind of rape, where it be almost, regular, or male, you would have a stack big enough to kill a hooker.
That said, the whole constant sexual violence of this book is very offputting to me - it’s almost like a crutch the creators go to in lieu of needing a reason to get Jonah Hex all righteous and fisty (sic) for the side of decency. Not a huge fan.
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I kind of look at it as coming with the territory really. Hex kills bad people in the Old West- and bad people in the Old West liked to abuse women. Sure, twists on the rape theme like Jonah Hex’s near-rape a few issues back kind of make me wonder if you might have a point, but in general I look at it no different than any clichés you find in superhero comics these days. The resurgence of Western books is still at a relatively early stage, but I do think it is getting close to time to start incorporating some more sophisticated storytelling in this title, instead of the same old tricks.
Sgt. Rock: The Lost Battalion #2 (of 6) , $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/03/08 ON TIME
Yeah, I admit a soft spot for Sgt. Rock comics, but I really think that Billy Tucci is doing a fantastic job with this series. Lots of action this issue - Easy is pinned down on Hill 679 and face “impossible odds” as the Nazis move in on their position, and they attempt to break out. Par for the course in a Sgt. Rock series.
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Gah. Okay, let me start off by saying that this issue was very well done. It’s clear that Billy Tucci knows the subject material, and has brought that knowledge into his script and art. When all is said and done, it’s a well executed comic - but it’s not one I enjoyed, and for two reasons. One, I’m not a huge fan of the genre, and a lot of this story was pretty dry. And two? I have this thing with Americans in WW II. I know, the whole “atom bomb” thing was nice of you guys and all, but before Pearl Harbor, the American government was all about helping as little as possible. Not entirely a legitimate reason for not liking this particular comic… but still something that tweaks in my brain.
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Without getting too deep in the history of World War II, I will say that I think you have a pretty narrow view of the US’s involvement (fightin’ words!). But a discussion for another time. Despite your distaste for war comics with American protagonists, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t stories to tell - and that this isn’t a damned good war comic. Which it is. A damned good war comic. I was really prepared to be underwhelmed by it, but this is the best Sgt. Rock I have read in years.
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Oh, I’m not saying it’s a bad read - there’s clearly craft involved, and for a person without the brain quirks that I have, it would be a great read. But for what I admit are somewhat irrational reasons, I definitely find myself fighting against this book while I read it.
X-Men/Spider-Man #2, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/10/08 ON TIME
This is turning out to be a fun little mini, but the art really brings out the flaws in some of those horrid 80s costumes. Part of the gimmick, though, as it looks like each issue is going to treat us to different versions of Spider-Man, and the different X-Men teams over the years. Personally, I am looking forward to next issue’s Ben Reilly appearance…
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Ben Reilly was my Spider-Man. The first comic book I bought was Sensational Spider-Man #1 - the first with Ben Reilly being Spidey - new costume and all. Those were the days.
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Oh, this issue? Very good. Christos Gage is doing bang-up job of finding the tone of each era and nailing all the stylistic quirks. And the art by Mario Alberti is still amazing. Definitely more European in feel - which appeals to me.
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Agreed - it is a good mesh here. Normally I find myself disappointed when any mini comes out with some hot-shot import artist (Secret War being a recent example), but Alberti’s doing a great job. And as per usual, Christos Gage doesn’t provide much of anything to complain about.
Green Lantern Corps #31, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/10/08 ON TIME
I have to say that as action-packed as this issue was, it seemed a little messy. I expected a more immediate backlash from the institution of The Third Law, and I did find it a little strange that with willpower being the primary weapon of the Lantern Corps that so many could so easily be subverted by Kryb. The fetus construct was pretty cool though, and I did like what was happening on Zamaron…
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Never thought of that “willpower” thing when I was reading this issue, but now that you mention it, it does make sense. It’s probably going to be part of the resolution to this arc. But are you getting the sneaking suspicion that Tomasi and Johns are setting up Guy Gardner for death during The Blackest Night? I suspect the hand of “The Whedon Syndrome” at work… where lovers have a hard time getting together, only to get happiness snatched right out of there hands by SHOCKING DEATH.
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That is my greatest feat about Blackest Night - senseless deaths just to promote a story. I think there are far better ways to introduce some conflict between Guy Gardner and Ice than to off Guy - making Ice a Violet or a Blue Lantern seems a much better way to go.
Frankly, it seems like every time DC gets really excited about something at a high editorial level these days, it turns out to be a disaster. Batman R.I.P., Final Crisis - recent examples of DC’s marketed events really show weakness at the top. I become more and more wary whenever I read about Johns and Didio casually joking about offing characters just to make them Black Lanterns. This title has been fantastic for a long time - perhaps this skepticism is a good thing though. If I fear something will be ruined, it makes it difficult to overhype it…
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Someone else suggested that Ice will become one of the other lanterns when I mentioned my fear of Gardner’s death - and while it’s a great idea (that *will* probably happen), I’m still getting the death vibe. I really hope I’m wrong, because Guy Gardner is one of the best characters in comics, but somebody is going to die by the end of Blackest Night, and they’ve set that guy up for a fall.
Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #5, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/10/08 ON TIME
Honestly, this finale fizzled a little bit from me. It started to go downhill last issue, but I really expected things to bounce a bit more here. This series isn’t really one that lends itself well to climactic endings, but issue 5 gave us a fairly ordinary Mary Jane issue, and nothing more. Kind of made the ending a little bit of a downer if you ask me.
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Definitely did not enjoy this as much as I did with McKeever’s run - in that McKeever could, and did construct high stakes endings. Or… as high stakes as high school can get. Buuuut, it’s over now - maybe even for good, which is sad. While I didn’t enjoy this mini as much as the old series, I would definitely read more - and this book seems like a pretty ripe ground to bring in one of those “legitimate” book writers for teens. And by teens, I mean girls… because dudes don’t read anymore.
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All the tension in this series seemed to get slapped on to the end there. Out of the blue the whole website thing comes up - out of the blue Harry is an issue, then she finds out who did it, forgives her, and all is happy as if it never mattered in the first place? Considering that entire issue was the main conflict of the series, it was a surprise that it got almost no attention. It felt like one of those background issues we see pop up in Spider-Girl - those nuisance, high school drama points that May has to skip to do worry about something actually important. They get almost no page time and always work themselves out. Since something like this is Mary Jane’s entire world, you would think that Moore would spend some more time developing that angle.
Maybe Moore just needs a little more practice writing a mini as opposed to a long-term ongoing? A real possibility.
Avengers: The Initiative #19, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 11/26/08 RELEASED 12/17/08
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So was this one late because they were waiting for Secret Invasion to finally come out? Seems a likely explanation. Either way, it was fantastic. 3D Man and Crusader had some great moments, the battles were quite epic, and I have to say that through and through, I enjoyed this arc far more than Secret Invasion itself. And the brief Great Lakes Initiative moment was outstanding.
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Loved seeing the Great Lakes Initiative again. All in all, very well put together. Most of this series seems to contain pretty harsh gut shots for the characters it follows… Cloud 9, who started off so innocent ended up becoming pretty cold. Hardball and Komodo just got slapped pretty hard a few months back. And the end of this issue? Harsh. But war is war, and things happen. I look forward to seeing if the Initiative survive the upcoming Dark Reign. I really hope so, but things aren’t looking to peachy just now.
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It was good to see how they managed to capture the essence of the Great Lakes _____ in half a page - Grasshopper dying, Squirrel Girl’s unhealthy relationship with her sidekicks, Flatman recruiting - even Tippy-Toe in the corner. They need to make more guest appearances like that one.
But enough about the GL_ - you are right about one thing. This title has done a brilliant job of elevating virtually unknown characters, and making them something worth caring about. It’s nice to see that there appears to be no sign as of yet that this title is going anywhere, but I wouldn’t rule out a title change sometime in the near future…
Invincible Iron Man #8, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/17/08 ON TIME
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This really is the first issue that has tied into the events in the mainstream continuity so closely. Overall, it wasn’t handled half bad. Stark’s meeting with Osborne seems to be setting up a pretty interesting confrontation in the near future, with the registration database being at the very center of it.
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You know what always stopped me from reading Iron Man before this series started? Tony Stark. I never really cared for the character and how he acted. And then… Matt Fraction began to write him - first, to great effect in The Order - and now as the ongoing writer of this book. Little things like tossing Pepper Potts a term of longing endearment that he clearly thought was harmless - and the weird love/hate thing he has going with Maria Hill really make this character work well. And the revelation of where he’s hid the superhuman database? Priceless. Just the right touch of conceited showman ship mixed into a heap of class. This is a Tony Stark I can get behind.
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Really, that’s an excellent point. As long as I have been reading comics, I have never cared about Iron Man. I was laughing when Marvel started playing Iron Man up as a legitimate A-List character on the level of Spider-Man in terms of iconic appeal during the movie promotion. Then suddenly, Fraction got his hands on Tony Stark, and it was real. Something clicked, and Iron Man was instantly interesting. Amazing what a good writer can accomplish.
Supergirl #36, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/17/08 ON TIME
This one definitely ties right into the action of the New Krypton story - which is kind of a downer for those who are just reading the Supergirl portion. Though it really isn’t at all difficult to figure out what is going on here. Supergirl’s father is killed at the very beginning, and so long as you ignore the why’s and the who’s of that scenario, the rest isn’t difficult to follow at all.
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There are huge chunks of this issue that make little sense if you haven’t been following New Krypton, but the book is still a good read. I have to say, I was a little scared as to what would happen to this book - Sterling Gates was the guy who wrote those two Green Lantern Corps fill ins, and his only other claim to fame (comic-wise) was being Geoff Johns’ bud. But I have to admit, the guy has impressed. I can’t wait to see him let loose next issue with his first big storyline. Here’s hoping for big things.
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Naturally the issue makes a lot more sense if you are reading New Krypton, but as it goes, I think the parts that relate to the ongoing story were easy to grasp or simply ignore. It was well done.
I didn’t have as much apprehension about Sterling Gates - Supergirl has been a disaster since she was first reintroduced, and I am not even sure Chuck Austen could have made things worse for her (we did, after all, get to see some creepy inappropriate flirtation between her and Hal Jordan in The Brave and the Bold). A fresh start - from anyone - was exactly what the doctor ordered. This new Superwoman angle is interesting - I can’t shake the notion that this is somehow her mother gone crazy, or some other kind of twist, but it is interesting enough to make me want to read the next issue.
As far as Gates’ story on Green Lantern Corps - ug, don’t remind me…
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Snnnnnnnzzzzz… snnnnnnzzzz…
Oh what? Sorry. Mentioning that fill in more than once makes me sleepy. It’s like that game, where you say Bloody Mary into the mirror a bunch of times, only instead of Bloody Mary coming out to kill you, I just get sleepy. Let’s continue.
Wonder Woman #27, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/24/08 ON TIME
This is much, much better. Until last issue, I was really beginning to have my doubts about Simone’s run on this title, but she has stepped things up with this arc. I remain skeptical, because I have felt that things were improving before, but this might well be the real deal here.
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I have to admit, this book is growing on me. Diana really seems like a hard character to nail, but things seem to be percolating for big, crazy plots in the future.
Nova #20, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/24/08 ON TIME
Ha ha - Ego as a Centurion? I know the Nova Corps is pretty well a Green Lantern Corps rip-off, but this is a little obvious! Nonetheless, this was a fun issue, as usual, and it was nice to see a couple more original New Warriors popping up.
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Solicitations are pointing towards some craziness involving Worldmind in the next few issues… and involving Ego is making this all the more interesting. I have to admit, the only thing I’ve read with Ego in it was an issue of Marvel Adventures Avengers, where Ego came looking for a bootie call with earth. I highly doubt the outcome will be as hilarious as that was, but still. Very interested.
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I haven’t caught the future solicits yet, but I have been getting the sense that there is something wrong with Worldmind - it makes sense considering how it got to where it is now, but there was almost no mention of that this issue. Richard really seemed to think that his concern over Worldmind were his own issues and nothing more. Of course, DnA have done a great job of letting issues develop in the background, and there was little reason to advance that plot very much this issue, with the New Warriors reunion at the forefront.
Avengers: The Initiative #20, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 12/24/08 RELEASED 12/31/08
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Disarray is the best word I can think of to describe this issue - and that really is as it should be.
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This is very much one of those “in between” issues - where all the causes and problems of the last big arc create a new status to go from. Hank Pym’s talking with his dead wife, Ant Man is off to bigger and… better things? And The Skrull Kill Krew are off to fight another day! All in all, the playing field is ready for more awesomeness as writer Christos Gage gives the book a go on his own next month.
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Yes indeed, it should be good. It was kind of tough to say much about this issue in particular - things are so messy for the characters involved that any kind of coherent plot is neigh impossible. Picking up the pieces is going to be fun to watch. I do have to say that I had some issue with the art this month. Tigra, mostly, really stuck out as bad, and from there I started to nitpick. Steve Kurth’s Tigra is frankly horrible, and that really left a black stain on an otherwise great issue.
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I didn’t mind the Tigra. That said, I’ve seen very little of her. All I know is that she’s a tiger, and once hit on Jarvis, so, you know… good for Jarvis.
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She looked like a puddle of mud wearing bad lingerie man… Dunno if it was just his pencils or a bad color job from Matt Milla, but it didn’t look right. I did like the interaction between Hellcat and Tigra though, they do have something of a common history, but that doesn’t change that artistic eyesore…
Teen Titans #66, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 12/31/08 ON TIME
I thought this was not a terrible issue - granted, not much happened outside a lot of banter, but there hasn’t been much chance for that of late. It did seem like there was a disappointing lack of actual new members. I like the addition of Misfit, in the past, some of the most interesting Teen Titans have been those with tense parental relationships. Traci 13 could be a decent addition as well. Outside those two, there really isn’t much of a rounded team. Robin’s departure was logical, though it will leave a huge gap in the team dynamic. I know you aren’t terribly keen on McKeever’s Titans run, but it is still better than it was for a long time.
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Oy, with the poodles already.
Seriously, Misfit was the only glimmer of hope in this issue. Sean McKeever clearly has a fondness for the character, and you can hear it as her voice rings out loud and clear, something completely her own. But the rest? Well…
I want to start this mini rant by saying… I love me some Sean McKeever. The Waiting Place, Sentinel, Gravity, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane… these are just a few examples of the awesome work this writer is capable of. With Teen Titans though… I’m really not feeling it. To be completely honest, I think that a part of it is the art. The odd expressions of emotion on the characters faces aren’t quite matching with the words coming out of their mouths. And the hugs. Holy wow, I’ve never known a hug to twist bodies up like that.
Anyway, the book is on very thin ice with me… and an impending crossover story isn’t going to help its status on this list.
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Yeah, I really can’t argue too much on the art. Anytime teenage girls are made to look like lanky supermodels it really is bothersome. Still, I think the story is strong enough to make-up for it. We shall see next month though.
THE CHOPPING BLOCK
Well, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane comes to an end this month, which will give us the opening we need in the budget to add a new title. As far as the other issues go, it wasn’t the best month across the board, but I am not sure I feel strongly enough about any of them to actually cut. What do you think Brandon?
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Well, I have some concerns with a few titles on this list… Jonah Hex, Teen Titans and Sgt. Rock. But if I’m not mistaken, Jonah Hex will be gearing up for its first epic for the summer… a six parter. And Sgt. Rock… it’s not a bad comic. Just one I don’t really enjoy. But Teen Titans…
Eh. This month, I’ll be good. I still have an unhealthy love for McKeever - and that gives him a lot of leeway. So let’s keep that one going for a little bit longer. Next month’s issue best better be awesome.
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Lot’s of room for debate on Teen Titans and Jonah Hex, but you will have to pry Sgt. Rock from my cold, dead hands.
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I could make that happen. All I’d need is a time machine, Jonah Hex, and to trick you into raping his horse. That one hasn’t been done yet, right?
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Issue #25.
TITLES FOR JANUARY
Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #2, $2.99, Dark Horse. Due Out 01/07/09
Jonah Hex #39, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/07/09
Sgt. Rock: The Lost Battalion #3 (of 6), $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/07/09
Invincible Iron Man #9, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/07/09
X-Men/Spider-Man #3, $3.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/14/09
Green Lantern Corps #32, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/14/09
Supergirl #37, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/21/09
Wonder Woman #28, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01//09
Nova #21, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/28/09
Avengers: The Initiative #21, $2.99, Marvel Comics. Due Out 01/28/09
Teen Titans #67, $2.99, DC Comics. Due Out 01/28/09
NEW TITLES
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Well, based on what we have so far, we are at $36.52. December left us with $.41 in the bank, which means we are still $3.89 under budget, which is more than enough room for a regular $2.99 issue, or any book under $3.50.
This being your first month on the Pull List, Brandon, I figured I would allow you to pick the new addition for the month. In the future we will have to come to an accord, but since I know there are books on the list already that wouldn’t be your first choice (and it will likely be some time before it is truly balanced between us), I think that a good was to start us off would be to give you this month’s choice uncontested. So, what’ll it be for January?
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Already, Craig, are you ready to have your mind rocked? This book comes to us from Image… and has yet to miss a ship date since it started. A couple of those issues even contained 32 pages of pure comic.
I’m talking about Proof. The book is about a bigfoot and his partner, and an agency dedicated to tracking and taking care of Cryptids that may cause harm to “normal” society - or just need a place to stay. The only down side? Each month is going to cost us $3.50 a pop - kinda’ “soon-to-be-standard” price point for independent books anymore.
Proof #16, $3.50, Image. Due Out 01/28/09
THE MATH
JANUARY TOTAL: $37.39
Budget = $40.00 + $.41 (Bank) = $40.41
$40.41 (Budget) - $37.39 (January issues) - $2.90 (tax) = $0.12 banked for December
That about wraps it up for this month. I want to thank everyone who has read this column over the past two years - it certainly has been fun. I also want to thank Brandon for agreeing to help out from here on out, I really think this concept is going to work a lot better if there is some kind of struggle for accord. We have similar tastes, but it should be easy to see from this month’s column that we already have our differences on some of these books. I am looking forward to seeing how that plays out in coming months.
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Next month, I’m getting totally getting sauced and bringing the pain. Hlllllet’s get ready to rummmmmmmblllllllllllllle!
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Thanks for reading- we’ll see you in February!
Want to comment? Post your thoughts over at comiXtreme.com!
The opinions in this article are the writer’s alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views of X-World Comics or comiXtreme.com.
Post your comments in the Forum!
December 27, 2008
eBook Madness
Have a Kindle? Pick up a copy of The Pyhäraapia!
And grab Jewel too while you are at it!
Post your comments in the Forum!
December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
Last year I started this short story and like so often happens, it fell through the cracks until Christmas was over and done with. Well, I dug it up and actually got it finished this year. I hope you enjoy it!
The story is set in the same universe as a novel I am still working on - Everywhere, Inc. - the one I wrote for 2005’s NaNoWriMo that I decided needed to be completely rewritten. Still working on that part. Hopefully this one stands well enough alone that you don’t need to be familiar with that draft to follow it. I think that I managed to do that well enough.
Thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas!
-Game for more Christmas cheer? Check out Manger Massacre, by Andrea Speed and Brandon Schatz, and Andrea’s 2004 story, Jingle Hell!
Post your comments in the Forum!
Everywhere Inc.: The Pyhäraapia
Everywhere Inc.: The Pyhäraapia
by Craig Allen Reade
The doors opened, and a quick blast of cold air and snow swept into the elevator. He grabbed the hoodie he had crammed into his backpack and pulled it on. For a moment, he thought he should turn back and choose a different level, but his curiosity got the better of him.
Slipping on his backpack, Jack took his first steps out into the virgin snow. He turned a moment to see the doors of the elevator close. A brilliant beam of light enveloped the lift and shot into the air, and the strange box dissolved into the light. A pulse shot up the infinite beam, and the whole thing faded into darkness. It didn’t matter how many times he had seen it – the site was always stunning. But this time it seemed even more brilliant thanks to the frigid air.
It had been some time since he discovered what that strange device the dying man had given him actually did, and it he still couldn’t quite believe it. As the man lie dying, he just thrust the small electronic pad and blue plastic card in his hands and told him to run. Jack wanted to get some help, the police or something, but the man told him they wouldn’t be able to help. As his assassins came around the corner, Jack heeded the man’s advice and fled. Eventually he discovered that the card and “Clicker” were keys to a seemingly magic elevator that lead to countless realities. Inside the lift were thousands of numbered buttons, each one leading to a different reality. Unfortunately, he didn’t think to take note of where he started, and he was hopelessly lost and unable to get home. So he roamed, exploring the different worlds and hoping to eventually find his own. This reality, 1225 was its number, was definitely not where he was from. But the cold beauty of this place was worth a few minutes of his time.
The air was still, and the sky was totally clear. A smooth blanket of snow covered the rocky landscape, and the light of millions of brilliant stars pierced through the darkness. Jack was taken by the beauty of it all, and stared in wonderment.
Off in the distance, Jack saw a tiny cottage. Feeling the cold, he thought about summoning the elevator, but decided instead to check out the solitary structure. At the very least he could warm himself there, and possibly find out a little about where he was from whoever lived there.
Jack trudged through the hard snow, the crunch of his boots with every step was the only thing to break the cold silence. As he got closer to the cottage, he noticed that it was completely dark – no light leaked from the windows. Even stranger was the chimney – Jack expected to see a plume of smoke wafting from it, especially in this cold. Jack supposed that there could be some sort of central heating, but being so far out in the wilderness, he thought it unlikely. Besides – if that were the case, he would almost certainly hear the rumble of a generator by now.
When Jack finally reached the cabin, it was clear that it had been abandoned. The snow had covered the simple stone walkway that lead to the door and piled up several inches against it. Had anyone actually lived there, Jack was sure that this would have been cleared. Still – he knocked anyway, loudly announcing his presence before he tried the door. It was unlocked.
“Hello?”
Hearing no reply, Jack crept into the tiny cabin and looked around. It was quite cozy, a large fireplace dominated the room, and a thick plush carpet covered the floor. A large couch sat right in front of the fireplace, and was draped by a thick throw blanket. The furniture was soft and inviting, if a little small, but from the musty smell and the dust that covered the room it was clear that no one had been there in some time. Jack scanned the room for a light switch but all he found were some half melted candles and some matches.
Once he got the candle lit – he scanned around the room. Moving shadows obscured a lot of the details, but this was clearly not a modern era. Jack didn’t see anything powered by electricity at all – no radio or television, no appliances of any kind, no lights – only candles places strategically around the room.
Jack made his way over to the enormous fireplace. There was a stack of wood to the side, along with a kindling box. Jack lit the candles near the fireplace, and set to work lighting a fire. He figured if the house was abandoned, no one would mind if he warmed up and got a little rest here before moving on. It may be cold outside, but it was relatively peaceful. It had been some time since he got a good night’s sleep. Since he had no idea where he would end up next, he decided to make the most of this opportunity. A nice meal would have made things better, but he doubted he would find anything to eat here. And even if he did, there was no telling how old the food would be. It wasn’t worth taking the risk.
After struggling to open the flue, Jack managed to get the fire started. The wood was dry and ignited quickly. After beating the dust off of the couch and throw, Jack curled up and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a nice big bowl of soup….
A thump on the roof woke Jack up with a start. He sat straight up and listened intently.An eerie rap of slow steps filled the room, one heavy step after another, each one accompanied by a grating scrape, as if something was clawing into the roof. Jack quietly made his way to the window, pulled open the shutter and peered out the open window. Everything outside was pristine – the snow was untouched, save for his footprints leading to the door. With each step, though, a little bit of snow fell from the shaking roof. Jack pulled shutters tight and latched them. Uncertain of what was up there, Jack couldn’t decide if he should creep outside and take a look, make a run for it, or just wait and hope whatever it was would go away. Indecision made the choice for him.
The footsteps finally stopped, but he could hear whatever was on the roof struggling with something. Then with a loud thump, something slid down the chimney and crashed into the fireplace. A thick cloud of ash billowed out of the fireplace into the room, spreading burning embers all over the place. Terrified, Jack knew he should run, but he was paralyzed with fear.The cloud settled, and Jack heard a low, staccato growl. He took a step back towards the door as a pair of glowing eyes twinkled at him through the soot. The creature emerged from the fireplace and rose up on its hind legs, snarling gleefully. It was enormous – Jack had no idea how it could have fit in the fireplace, let alone made it down the chimney. But since the creature just landed on burning coals without even flinching, there was clearly something more dangerous about this beast than its size and ferocity.
It stood nearly eight feet tall, and was covered in long, shaggy fur. The fur was white, but so much of it was stained with blood that you could almost call it red. The white-red fur was caked with ash and soot from the chimney and much of the hair was singed and burning from its trip through the coals. As the creature breathed, the frozen air shot out of his nostrils like smoke that swirled and circled around its head.
The creature bounded forward and Jack stumbled away. It rose up again on its hind legs and growled once more – an evil, stuttered growl that sounded like a laugh. Its large abdomen jiggled at the sound. Desperate, Jack grabbed at a chair and flung it at the terrible beast. It lashed out angrily, swiping at the chair and shattered it into a thousand splinters. The great beast summoned its full height and let out an ear-splitting roar.
Jack’s eyes darted about the room, looking for an escape. The creature blocked his path to the exit, so he scrambled back to the kitchen area. There was no door there, but there was another large window covered by a shutter. He fumbled with the latch, but he couldn’t budge it. A menacing snort behind him told him that his time was up.
A meat cleaver sat unmolested on the counter. Knowing it was ultimately futile, he snatched up the blade and waved it at the creature. His back was to a wall, literally and figuratively, and Jack knew that if he had any chance at all, he was going to have to get around the monster. As the creature slowly stalked him (Jack could swear it was smiling), he mustered up his last ounce of courage and sprang forward, swinging the cleaver wildly. Unimpressed by the display, the creature swatted Jack away as he came into range, sending him flying across the room. Jack collided into a wall and crumbled on a countertop.
The overpowering smell of cinnamon greeted Jack as he woke. The warmth and the strong aroma made him feel at peace, at least until he felt his head throb. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned.He was lying on the same couch as before, with the fire roaring in front of him. Were it not for the pain, he would have thought that the whole thing was a dream. The sight of a short, dirty figure clad in green snapped him out of his haze. He slowly sat up, fighting through the agonizing soreness.
He looked around and saw several of the small men rush towards him, to push him back down. He could sense no malice from them, so he willingly complied. The pain was more than he had expected, so he would have ended up on his back again anyway.
“Elves,” he chuckled quietly. “I wonder where Santa is.”
“Santa?” Jack opened his eyes again and saw one of the elves sitting on the arm of the couch at his feet. The elf was almost exactly how you might imagine Santa’s helpers to be – short and pale, with pointed ears, wearing a green suit with matching hat and shoes. In almost every way, the elves looked like children of ten or twelve years, but their eyes showed a wisdom of someone much older. This one like all the others looked emaciated, and his cloths were worn and tattered. It was obvious that life was not easy for this elf. He still had a twinkle in his eye though, and had a quizzical look on his gaunt face.
“What is a Santa?”
I chuckled again, and tried to sit up a little. The pain was unbearable, so I settled for leaning on my shoulder, looking up at the diminutive man. “You mean who? Well, Santa… well, once a year, Santa bring toys to all the good children of the… world…”
The elf had a strange look on his face that stopped Jack mid sentence. He realized that Santa was a little difficult to describe to someone who had no idea who he was. Who had never heard of Santa Claus after all? The youngest child knew who the jolly elf was. Jack realized that there were differences between realities, but in a frozen wasteland that could well be the North Pole populated by literal elves – how was it possible that they didn’t know of Santa?
“He brings toys to children? Why?”
It took some time, but I told the elf everything I knew about Santa, all the stories I could remember. About how he lived at the North Pole and had a workshop filled with elves who built toys, and how once a year he loaded his sleigh and delivered those toys to the children of the world in a single night. He listened intently to everything I had to say. After I finished, he sat and thought for a few moments.
“So this Santa, he was the leader of the elves?”
“Yeah,” Jack replied. “Some people think he is an elf himself, others look at him as just a man. But either way, you could say he was the elves leader. But he really is more of a symbol. But then, it is only a story.”
Despite my efforts, the elf seemed less interested in the whole meaning of Christmas angle than just the importance of Santa himself, and the powers that he had. Pukk, as the elf was called, peppered Jack with questions for what seemed like hours. Jack himself was surprised at the depth of lore about Santa Claus. No wonder it was so difficult to explain: there were so many conflicting Santa Claus stories that it was nearly impossible to describe the man in a line or two. Pukk listened intently, and his fascination wasn’t surprising – the story of Santa told of a society of elves exactly like them, but one that had peace, security, and comfort. Perhaps Santa had something to do with this?
Their discussion was finally interrupted by another elf – slightly shorter with nearly black skin and bright-red lips. The second elf had the same young features, but his face was marked by several scars that Jack later learned were inflicted by the Pyhäraapia – the beast that had attacked him long ago. So Jack wasn’t the only one to survive an attack by that creature.
“The house is secure Pukk,” Piet reported.
“Our supplies?”
“We are two days out from Laughing Valley, assuming the weather holds. Krampus is leading a hunting party to shore up our food stores just in case, but we should have more than enough. Again, assuming the weather holds.”
The elf perched on the arm of the couch nodded, and Piet left. While they were talking, another elf – a much smaller girl, handed Jack a warm mug filled with a thick, fragrant liquid that reminded him a little of egg nog. After a couple sips, Jack immediately felt better. The pain in his back dulled, and he felt strong enough to sit up.
“What happened?” Jack finally asked. “What attacked me?”
“That was the Pyhäraapia,” Pukk explained. “You were a fool to fall asleep with a fire going like that! It was like asking to be attacked!’
“I am sorry,” Jack explained. “I’m a stranger here. I didn’t know about it.” Jack looked around nervously. “What if it comes back? Why didn’t he kill me before?”
“It was the cinnamon,” Pukk explained. “The Pyhäraapia is allergic to it. We found you on the kitchen counter covered in the stuff.”
As it turned out, the Pyhäraapia fed on the elves almost exclusively. For years it has hunted the elves and destroyed their entire way of life. The elves used to live in small family groups, scattered all across the area, but mostly concentrated in the Laughing Valley. Cottages like this one dotted the landscape, the families that lived in them only meeting on rare occasions. This group was like dozens of others across the land journeying to the far north, an annual Festival where the different tribes of elves gathered for trade and socialization.
The Pyhäraapia seemed impervious to fire, though the smell of cinnamon was almost a foolproof ward. It usually attacked indoors, when the entire family was sleeping. Sometimes the smell of cinnamon wasn’t enough to keep the creature away, so the elves became nomads – traveling in groups for protection. They always posted a watch, and rarely slept in the same place twice. The smoke from a fire seemed to attract the creature, so they only lit one in safe, well defended places, and only when there was plenty of cinnamon available to ward the creature off, and enough elves to stand guard against attack. This house was the home of one of the first victims of the Pyhäraapia, and it served as one of the way stations for bands of roving elves.
The door of the cottage burst open and a few elves stumbled in, carrying a wounded elf on their shoulders. Two of the elves gently lowered their comrade to the floor, and Pukk leapt off the couch and rushed to his side. The other elves in the room scurried around, and soon his wounds were being washed and bandaged.
“What happened Krampus?” Pukk demanded.
A black-clad elf with dark reddish skin slumped against the wall with exhaustion. He slowly unstrapped the enormous shield from his back, and set his weapon on the ground next to him. Instead of the spear that most of the elves carried, he wielded a staff that was just a bit taller than he was, topped by a bunch of thick sticks that were tightly bound at the head of the staff. Jack wasn’t sure if they were decorative or not, but they were long enough to cause real damage if the staff was whipped properly. Jack learned later that this weapon was called a virgács, and Krampus was one of a very few elves who could wield it effectively.
“It was the damned beast,” Krampus spat. “It was still in the area, and pretty ticked off. I don’t think he liked his meal interrupted.” Krampus glared at Jack out of the corner of his eye.
“Anyway, it got Rumpel – damn thing swallowed him whole. Ruprecht here got a couple cleans shot with his bow that drove the beast off, but he paid the price. He’ll probably be ok, but he’ll need some time to mend.”
“The weather will just have to hold,” Pukk said after a moment’s thought. “We can’t afford to send another party out. We will have to let Muori know that we need to ration starting now. One bad storm and we’ll starve.”
“We are so close,” Krampus groaned.
“No reason to get lax,” Pukk replied, forcing a smile. Now that Ruprecht was patched up, a few of the elves eased him to his feet and lead him towards the back of the cottage. Pukk stood and watched them go and soon became lost in thought, staring through the door.
“I am sorry,” Jack said, approaching the distracted elf cautiously.
“What?” Pukk stammered, snapping out of his revere. “Sorry? What have you to be sorry for?”
“I can’t help thinking that this is my fault. I didn’t have to come here, light that fire and sleep in this cabin. I brought the creature here, and your –“Jack paused for a moment, trying to find the right word – “elves paid for it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Pukk shot back. “We were coming here anyway, and the Pyhäraapia in the area. If anything, by finding you we were warned it was in the area. This could have been a lot worse. No, the Pyhäraapia is just a fact of life here. He takes who he wants. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you end up as food.. Krampus is taking it hard, which is to be expected – he doesn’t like losing elves. I wouldn’t let him bother you. He understands the reality of our lives, and will come around soon enough.”
The caravan was a modest one – two sleds loaded with food and supplies were hitched to a pair of reindeer each. Jack helped the elves load their supplies – they were far more knowledgeable about survival in the harsh environment, but Jack’s physical size had its perks. With his help and Piet’s direction, the caravan was ready to depart in record time.The procession moved slowly in a long single file. The sleds were at the front of the procession, and various armed elves moved up and down the line. Krampus remained rooted in the rear, holding his virgács casually as his eyes shifted back and forth in every direction.
Pukk walked close to me when he was able, but frequently he was approached by one elf or another, with a question or a report. It seemed clear that he was the leader of the band and from what Jack could tell, he seemed to be a pretty good one. Rarely did he get angry or emotional, he never dismissed anyone who approached him, no matter how silly their concern might be, and his responses were always measured and well-reasoned. He was the palest of the elves – the cold air made his nearly white skin almost glow red, the tiny white tuft of hair on his chin offering almost no protection.
Krampus was almost the opposite of Pukk – and very different from most of the elves. He was passionate – looking into his eyes you could see a wild spark. He wanted to run and to fight. It must have taken unbelievable self discipline to rein that fire in. Unlike the other elves in the party, he would argue with Pukk, often quite passionately, Though Pukk never once raised his voice he stood firm, and Krampus always backed down. It seemed that as passionate as Krampus was, he ultimately respected the more reasonable Pukk.
The weather held, and Pukk was pleased about the pace the caravan was keeping. Piet soon approached Pukk and unfolded a tattered map, and pointed to a rocky ridge in the distance. Pukk listened to the soft-spoken elf intently.
“That ridge puts us only a couple hours from Festival, and should provide some shelter if we get hit by snow. We should arrive there before nightfall if we keep this pace.”
“Very well, Piet,” Pukk said. “Take Čertanděl and scout ahead – find a safe spot to make camp in the ridge.”
Piet nodded, and he and the second elf took some supplies from one of the sleds, strapped them to their backs, and started to jog towards the ridge ahead.
“What happens at Festival?” Jack asked Pukk, who was watching the pair scramble off.
“Hrm?” Pukk replied, distracted, turning back to face me.
“Festival. Why do you go there? What happens?”
“It’s a gathering of elves – once each year in Laughing Valley,” Pukk explained. “A long time ago, most of the elves lived there in relative peace and security, until the Pyhäraapia appeared. It laid waste to entire villages, forcing those who survived to flee.
“We all travel in small bands now – hunting for our food and staying on the move as often as possible. Scattered as we are, the creature can only attack a few of us at once.”
“Couldn’t you just fortify your villages? Post guards?”
“We tried that,” Pukk replied. “It became impossible to maintain ourselves that way. Large communities had specialists like farmers who grew our food in large greenhouses. But the Pyhäraapia would attack the farmer, crashing through the glass and destroying a crop. People starved. The creature only needed to kill a certain number of important elves and a whole community would fall to pieces. The only ones who had a chance at survival were the hunters, who moved in small bands and could drive the creature off if he attacked. The elves that survived were the ones that kept moving, and could fend for themselves.
“We still go back to Laughing Valley once a year, to connect with other bands, share information, and trade. We share stories about our encounters with the great beast, track its movements, and find out new ways to stay alive.”
“How can you be so sure there is only one of those things out there?”
Pukk sighed, and looked thoughtful for a moment.
“The Pyhäraapia is a magical creature. No one has ever seen more than one, and no one has ever killed it. Oh, some people claim to have, but they never have any kind of proof. It’s been wounded – that much is certain, and the scars from these wounds are one of the reasons we know there to be only one.
“Each band carefully records every encounter with the creature, and shares their experiences at Festival. One band would somehow manage to wound the beast, and on the same night, another would report they were attacked on the very same night by the Pyhäraapia – who bore the very wound that was inflicted before. Sometimes these bands would be miles away from each other at the time. Not only does the beast seem impossible to kill, but it moves incredibly fast when it travels. Dozens of bands spread across the region frequently report encounters on the same evening. There are some who believe that there is no limit to how many bands it could attack in a single day, if it so desired.”
The story seemed incredible, and Jack couldn’t believe that any creature could do so much alone, but Pukk was adamant. They knew there was but one, and this was something that Jack had to accept.
“What did your Santa do about the Pyhäraapia?” Pukk finally asked, while Jack digested what he had learned about the creature.
“I have no idea,” Jack replied, sad he had nothing useful to offer. “I’ve never even heard of a Pyhäraapia. It’s possible it doesn’t exist at all where I come from, even in legend.”
A faint, staccato snarl interrupted the conversation, and the entire caravan suddenly froze. Heads popped up and looked around frantically.
“Move!” Pukk ordered, forcing the caravan to start again. He ran to the rear and stopped next to Krampus, who’s eyes were fixed on a hilltop behind them. The Pyhäraapia stood on top of it on its hind legs, snarling loudly. The sounds of its ominous growls were so loud that it seemed like it was already on top of them.
“How long to the ridge?” Krampus asked, his eyes locked on the beast.
“At least an hour at our pace,” Pukk replied.
Krampus nodded. “Go.”
The Pyhäraapia suddenly darted forward and rushed down the hill toward the caravan. Jack couldn’t believe how fast the creature moved – but to hear Pukk tell it, it was moving down the hill at almost a crawl. As Pukk turned and urged his people forward, Krampus took the enormous shield off his back and laid it down on the snow. Using it as a sled, he jumped inside of it, and raced down the hill towards the approaching beast.
“No!” Jack cried, starting after the sledding elf.
“Let him go!” Pukk exclaimed, rushing back to Jack’s side, pulling him away. “Move!”
The caravan surged forward towards the ridge, separating as people scrambled as fast as they could. The reindeer and the sled drivers galloped forward, outpacing the elves that scrambled through the snow. Jack looked back and saw Krampus nearly collide with the rushing beast at the bottom of the hill. He leapt off the shield and twirled his virgács around, parrying the angry beast’s claws. That was the last Jack saw of Krampus as he was forced to chase after the caravan which was heading down the hill on the other side.
The band of elves sprinted towards the ride with their sleds, and though it took much less than an hour to get there, each moment seemed like an eternity. The growls of the creature engaging Krampus gave a feeling of security – even though most felt that Krampus was lost, every moment the Pyhäraapia fought the elf brought the group closer to safety. The silence soon came, however, and as the ridge grew ever closer, the caravan feared it would not make it. Thankfully, they arrived at the rocky sanctuary and rushed into a large cavern at the entrance to which a fire was already burning. The smell of cinnamon was overpowering – Piet had tossed some cinnamon branches in the fire and the smell filled the cavern and the surrounding area.
The band huddled in the cave – the sleds were unloaded, and furs were rolled out for sleeping. Several elves stood ready, spears and bows in hand. For a long time, Pukk and Jack stood near the fire at the entrance to the cave, looking out for any sign that the beast had followed them, or Krampus had somehow escaped. As time passed, the weather got worse, and soon a blizzard started in earnest. Pukk sighed sadly.
“Why did he do that?” Jack asked. “Cinnamon drives that creature off, wasn’t there another way?”
“The smell has to be overpowering,” Pukk replied somberly. “The Pyhäraapia is allergic, but it takes a lot to force it off. In a cave or a house, the scent lingers and gains potency. Out in the open, it would have taken more than we had on hand to drive it away, and it would have taken too long to build a fire that large. Krampus knew we had to stall it long enough to get the caravan to the ridge. He did the only thing that could be done.”
“But the cabin!” Jack exclaimed. “I was just covered in a little bit of powder, and that was enough!”
“You were unconscious, and it wasn’t about to eat you covered in the stuff,” Pukk explained with incredible patience. “That didn’t stop it from entering the cabin and wrecking the place and you along with it. We don’t have enough powder to protect everyone, and that would only stop it from eating us, not killing us.”
Jack looked down, and shook his head. He put his hand on Pukk’s shoulder, trying to comfort him, but got no response. Pukk just started out of the cave into the frozen waste, watching for something that would tell him what happened to Krampus. Jack turned back into the cave, and tried to get his mind off his guilt by helping the elves unload their sleds. The work done, he leaned up against a large boulder near the fire and pulled the Clicker out of his pocket.
The familiar compass arrow pointed back in the direction of the Shaft that brought him to this reality, right below the number 14,786. He never did figure out what unit of measurement the Clicker used to determine distance, but he knew that 14.786 was a long way. If he had been in his right mind at the time he would have gone back to the Shaft and used the Clicker to summon the elevator instead of going with Pukk’s band, but there was little he could do to change that now, especially with the Pyhäraapia on their tail.
A small elf sat next to him, and set a large empty sack on the ground beside him. The elf was hairy, but almost certainly a child. His skin was brown and dirty, and he wore a tattered brown cloak. He looked inquisitively at Jack’s glowing pad.
“What’s your name?” Jack asked. The elf boy looked up at him.
“Schmutzli. What’s that?”
“It’s a Clicker. It tells me how to get home.”
“Hrm,” replied Schmutzli, transfixed by the glow. “How does it do that?”
“Well,” Jack explained, “this arrow points in the direction I need to go, and that number tells me how far I need to travel.”
“Ah. But how does it do that?”
“Do what?” Jack asked, confused.
“Glow!”
Jack realized that these people had never seen any kind of electronics before.
“Well, you see, there is a battery inside that stores energy, and that energy powers the screen here. A sensor detects the hole in reality that the Shaft passes through…” Jack stopped when he saw the look of confusion on Schmutzli’s face.
“Magic, it works by magic.”
“I knew it!” Schmutzli declared, his face beaming. “Drapp didn’t believe me, but I was right!” Schmutzli got back to his feet, snatched up his empty sack, and ran over to a group of elves that were intently watching the exchange.
Jack tucked his Clicker in his backpack, and leaned his head against the wall. Very soon, his eyes got heavy, and he drifted off to sleep.
A clatter of metal shocked Jack out of his slumber. Everyone was alert, and looking towards the fire at the cave opening. Pukk was on his feet already, running out the entrance with Piet on his tail. Jack pulled himself up and followed them out. He was greeted by a sight he thought was impossible.
Outside, Krampus had fallen to his knees, and his shield had clattered against a large rock behind him. His virgács, splintered and cracked, was laying in the snow beside him and the side of his face was caked with blood. The trio lifted Krampus to his feet and carried him into the cave. Piet rushed back out to retrieve the broken virgács and shield.Krampus was set down on a pile of furs, and several elves crowded around him. Pukk patiently had everyone clear out, explaining that Krampus needed space. Pukk called for an elf named Budelfrau to clean Krampus’ wounds, and a diminutive woman rushed to his side with rags and a bag of water.
“What happened?” Pukk asked Krampus gently. Krampus groaned as he tried to sit up, but Budelfrau placed her hands on his shoulder and eased him back down.
“The beast knocked me silly,” Krampus said, his voice labored. “I held it off for a little while, but I slipped on a patch of ice, and it knocked my virgács out of my hands. I picked up my shield but before long, it had swatted that away as well.
“Lying on my back, the damned thing rising up above me, I thought I’d had it. But at the last moment I reached over and grabbed my virgács, which I found beside me, and jabbed it up at it. He was coming down with his jaws – the tip went right in its mouth – stabbed it real good in the throat. It howled – and ran away. I blacked out for a little bit after that – by the time I came to, it was gone.”
Pukk tried to look serious, but he couldn’t conceal the relief on his face. He told Krampus to rest, let everyone else know that they were to give him some space, and left the wounded warrior in Budelfrau’s care.
“One lucky hit and it fled, unthinkable!” Piet said to Pukk after they left Krampus’ side.
“Why is that so strange?” Jack asked. Piet shot an irritated look at Jack.
“We’ve tried to kill the beast before,” Pukk explained patiently. “It’s been battered, cut, and wounded, but it just keeps coming. Eventually it decides to flee if wounded and facing numbers, but it heals so quickly. A couple hours later you wouldn’t know he had been hurt. Krampus got a good hit in, but he was wounded and down. It should have killed him.”
“The mouth is sensitive,” Piet suggested. “Maybe it was just a once-in-a-lifetime shot to the back of the throat, and that was enough to put the beast off him for a bit?”
Jack eyed Krampus’ virgács, and saw that the sticks bound at the top were caked with blood. An idea occurred to him.
“What are those made of?” Jack asked, pointing at the virgács. Pukk and Piet looked confused for a moment.
“Cinnamon branches,” coughed Krampus, who had been listening to them. Pukk and Piet looked at each other in surprise.
“You said the thing was allergic to cinnamon,” Jack asked hurriedly. “Maybe it’s flat out poisonous. What would happen if you made some kind of paste? Coated your spear tips with it?”
Pukk looked thoughtful at that suggestion.
“Could that work?” Jack asked. “Would that kill it?” Piet and Pukk just looked at each other, puzzled.
“It will work,” Krampus said, staggering to his feet. Budelfrau tried to get him to stay on his back, but he pushed her away. “I should be dead. One hit shouldn’t have stopped him, I don’t care if I jammed a spear all the way down his throat, that wouldn’t have been enough to stop him – we have hit it with worse before. The big ape is on to something here.”
“What do you want us to do?” Piet asked incredulously. “Attack the Pyhäraapia? That’s suicide!”
“We’ve got to do something!” Krampus raged. “With that storm out there, we aren’t going anywhere. The beast is ticked off, and it knows where we are. It is going to come back. You know as well as I do that the fire doesn’t always stop it when it is angry.”
Pukk stood silently, mulling over what Krampus was suggesting. Piet had a look of horror on his face, shocked that Pukk appeared to be considering such a drastic move, but too meek to say as much.
“Make the paste,” Pukk said, his eyes fixed on Krampus. “Dip the spears. Krampus is right – there is no telling how long this storm is going to last, and it’s worth a shot.”
Piet stood stunned for a moment, but quickly turned to find Muori, and gathered some elves to help grind the bark off the cinnamon branches. Krampus remained standing, and though unsteady, he still looked strong.
“I’ll take Ruprecht and Čertanděl. We’ll find a place to set up an ambush. We’ll light a fire and –“
“No,” Pukk interrupted. Anger flashed briefly in Krampus’ eyes.
“I thought –“
“We can’t lose you,” Pukk explained. “You are wounded and need rest. If this doesn’t work, the caravan is going to need you to get them to Festival safely. You saved us once, and I am not going to throw this band’s best asset away for a plan that might not work.”
“But you need me for this!” Krampus exclaimed. “I’m the best fighter we have here!”
“Are you? Really? In the state you are in?” Pukk countered angrily. It was the first time Jack had ever heard him raise his voice. Krampus bristled at the criticism, but remained silent. “You can barely stand right now, let alone face the beast.
“We’ll go out there, and try Jack’s idea. If we fail – at least one of us will fall, and that will probably satisfy the beast enough that he will leave the caravan alone and move on. That will allow you to get the rest of the band to Festival unharmed. Even if the plan is farfetched, the sacrifice is a smart one. It’s better to risk losing a couple of us out there than to have it attack us here in the cave, where we can lose so many more.”
Pukk’s voice softened, and he put his hand on Krampus’ shoulder. “We all know you are brave, and I know you would die to protect this band. You have proven yourself. But use your head – you know this is the way it has to be. We need you here now, we need you to rest and regain your strength so that you can get the rest of us to Festival in one piece. I will go and take Ruprecht and Čertanděl with me. And Jack,” Pukk added. “It was his idea, he should see it through.” Before Jack could even think to object, Pukk looked him in the eyes. “He feels guilty enough for what happened to Rumpel, I am sure he wants to take advantage of this opportunity to lift some of that weight from his shoulders.
Jack stood in quiet disbelief, but he found himself nodding. He couldn’t help it – Pukk had an air of authority about him. Not only did people want to do what he said, but he had a strange way of making people believe in him. This case was no different. Jack was terrified of the beast, and was sick of being frozen. He wanted nothing more than to pack it up and head back to the Shaft, and get away from this wasteland. But Pukk had a point – Rumpel had died in part because of him. And Pukk and his band could have left him to die there, bleeding in that cottage, but they didn’t. They took the time to patch him up, welcomed him in their caravan. Krampus saved his life once again by rushing to fight the Pyhäraapia before it could reach the fleeing band. He owed them, and found his heart agreeing with the decision his head already made by nodding.
Krampus stared at Jack with cold calculation, sizing up the metal of the newcomer. Nodding his assent, he carefully knelt down and laid on the furs Budelfrau had laid out for him. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes, and lay stoically while Budelfrau went back to tending to his wounds.
It took little time to create the paste from the cinnamon bark. A little water and an already raging fire made the job easy. They coated several spear and arrow-tips with the paste, and dried them over the fire. Gathering everything they needed, the quartet said their goodbyes and pushed out into the snow.Climbing along the ridge for about an hour, they found the spot to make their stand. A high rock stood as a barrier against a nearly impassable ravine to the rear. The rock was partly hollowed out, almost deep enough to make a cave. It was perfect – Pukk was certain that the Pyhäraapia would not be able to attack them from behind, and the ground in front of the rock was clear and flat.
The four set to work building a fire, using some dry branches they brought with them to get it started. The blizzard had calmed somewhat, but a light snow still flurried down on top of them. Ruprecht foraged for some more branches – not only to make the fire bigger, but in the hopes that he would find some branches dry enough to burn, but wet enough to make the fire nice and smoky. They were satisfied that the fire would attract the creature.
Once all was ready, Ruprecht and Čertanděl grabbed their bows and climbed on top of the tall rock wall. Pukk handed Jack a spear, took one for himself, and scattered the rest around, propping them up against the rock wall or against small boulders. He explained that they may have to hit him several times, and the additional spears needed to be within easy reach.
They didn’t have to wait long. The familiar laughing growl was heard in the distance, and the four steeled themselves. Soon, the blood-stained creature emerged into the fire’s light and bared its teeth. Jack could see immediately the effect of Krampus’ blow – the left side of the beast’s snout was swollen completely shut. Pukk noticed it too.
“Look at its mouth,” Pukk said. “That should have healed by now.” To emphasize the point, the Pyhäraapia carefully advanced, and it was obvious that it wasn’t as steady on its feet as before. Pukk readied his spear, and motioned for Jack to do the same. Above, Ruprecht and Čertanděl drew their arrows back and waited.
Carefully, as they planned, Jack and Pukk circled the fire in opposite directions, drawing the beast in. They expected it to lash out at any moment, but something gave the creature pause – it was as if it sensed the trap. Eventually instinct took over, and the beast clumsily surged forward towards Pukk, baring its teeth.
Ruprecht and Čertanděl let their arrows fly, both striking true, burying their tips in the Pyhäraapia’s hide. It howled in pain, and its back legs collapsed almost immediately. It quickly recovered, and turned to retreat. Pukk wasted no time, and charged the beast with his spear. Jack looked up and saw the archers’ mouths open in stunned amazement. Finally Ruprecht recovered, nudged his partner, and they strung another arrow, and waited for a window.
Pukk grimaced as he plunged his spear in the beast’s side. The beast howled again, and Pukk’s spear cracked and broke as the beast tried to twist away. Blood squirted from the wound, and Jack could swear that it was steaming. Jack struck with his spear clumsily – he hit the beast, but the spear bounced off the hide with barely a scratch. The Pyhäraapia swatted Jack away, and nearly ran right over him in his attempt to get away. Two more arrows appeared in the beast’s hide, and it tripped over Jack, falling face first into the snow.
The cinnamon was clearly working. The Pyhäraapia’s menacing growl was replaced with a pitiful whine. The aromatic poison coursed through its veins, but it fought on, and tried futilely to pull itself up. Two more arrows knocked it back down. Pukk, with another spear in his hand, crossed to the front of the beast. He looked and saw unrestrained hate in the creature’s glossy eyes. With a grimace, Pull plunged the spear into the beast’s shoulder.
The Pyhäraapia groaned meekly, and its head dropped. Several more arrows plunged into its hide, but it stopped moving all together. The poison had worked. Pukk stood silently, gazing sternly at its body. Finally he turned and helped Jack to his feet.
“I’m sorry,” Jack stuttered, embarrassed at his atrocious showing. “I just… I didn’t…”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You were here,” Pukk explained. “You weren’t born with a spear in your hand, but you were brave enough to stand with us and face the beast. And you came up with the idea that let us kill it. I should be the one to apologize – I can’t believe no one ever thought to do this sooner. We never thought it possible to actually kill it.”
The four made their way back to the cave, and were greeted warmly by the band of elves. There was some celebration, but it took a long time for it to really sink in that the beast was dead. The snow abated before dawn, and the caravan packed to leave. Krampus suggested that they should find the carcass and bring it with them to Festival. The other bands would need to hear of this, and the body of the Pyhäraapia was the best possible proof. Pukk agreed, and one of the two sleds was emptied to carry it.
Several hours later, the caravan made its way down the hill into Laughing Valley. The mood was jubilant by the time the band reached Festival – the elves were celebrating openly, and some were dancing as they reached their destination. Word spread like lightning throughout the assembled bands, and it seemed like the entire Festival was crowded around that one sled. Krampus was right – they needed to see with their own eyes.
In the end, Jack was happy he stayed, and happy he decided to go with Pukk’s band. He watched in amazement at a real turning point for this reality’s people. At that Festival, they decided to end their nomadic ways, and remain in the Laughing Valley. When the sun rose, Jack was awestruck by the beauty of the Valley – to the north, a triple-peak rose over a think tree line. He learned these were known as Korvatunturi, and the lore of these elves told how their people came from these peaks many generations ago.
It was against this backdrop that Pukk was made the leader of all the elves. Taking from the stories he head from Jack, Pukk was proclaimed Joulupukki, the First Santa of the elven people. He explained to the gathered elves how this Santa lead those of Jack’s world with wisdom, generosity, and peace, and how he would try to live up to that noble ideal. He was draped in a cloak made from the skin of the Pyhäraapia, still stained red with blood and trimmed in white, complete with a fur hat to match. Jack was struck by the similarity – if Pukk were a bit older and a bit heavier, and that beard a bit fuller… it was a very real possibility, but Jack didn’t voice it to anyone. He enjoyed the celebration that followed, the dancing and music that followed. Many of the elves wore the tiny bells on their cloths that jingled when they dances and ran. Jack decided these elves weren’t all that different from Santa’s Helpers in all the stories he heard as a child.
After several days, a small troupe lead Jack back to the cottage where he was found. Saying goodbye to his new friends, he finally embraced Pukk, and extended his hand to Krampus. The animosity gone, the healed warrior (now Pukk’s closest official aide and companion) grabbed the hand and shook it vigorously, and patted Jack on the back.
“I don’t understand,” Pukk said at last. “This land is complete wilderness for miles around. Where will you go?”
“You’ll see,” Jack replied with a smile. “Schmutzli!” The small elf bounded forward, still clutching his empty sack. “Would you like to see some more magic?”
The boy smiled, and Jack turned and pulled out his Clicker. Pressing the button, the familiar brilliant beam of light descended from the heavens. The elves gaped in silence.
Waving goodbye, Jack turned and entered the open doors, eager to get into the warm elevator and on his way.
“What level, sir?” The Operator asked. Jack scanned the walls of the lift car, and stared at a sea of multicolored buttons.
“How about…”
End
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